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♥ Within 8 Hours [Review]
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Title: Within 8 Hours Author: baboracoon URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/baboracoon4 Status: Ongoing Reviewer: ctanonymous @ Ver-Sah-Tyle {http://ver-sah-tyle.blogspot.com} Title: 5/5 Nice job, your title is interesting and draws the reader's attention. When I saw it, I immediately wondered what the significance of these 8 hours was. Let's just say my attention was drawn in, and I wanted to know...what exactly happened in those 8 hours? ;] Poster/Background: 7/10 I like your poster pretty well, but I don't think that the pictures really connected with your plot. The emotions on the pictures didn't really define the events and twists in your story. However, I like that you made it yourself, and the background is definitely easy to read. Kudos. Forewords: 9/10 Good, you introduced the meaning of the 8 hours in your story. I also liked the driving questions that you included in your forewords. It had a lot of to do with the story, yet I really didn't know much of what was going to happen. It's also nice that you classified the characters so we know who is who. I also liked how you asked the questions like the reader is a character in the story. Plot: 12/15 I like the entire contradiction between the police fiance and the gang... And, I also liked the within 8 hours concept that you used. But, I was confused on how, exactly, the girl meets the gangster. The transitions between scenes is kind of confusing and sudden. Flow: 7/10 As I mentioned before, the jump and transition between scene to scene is entirely too confusing. It is too sudden, and I was lost on how the girl met the gangster guy. You should slow down and develop scenarios where the two meet, and then slowly make them fall in love. Otherwise, it will be confusing if they just fell in love so quickly. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10 I didn't catch many spelling errors in your story. However, there were some grammar mistakes, or maybe typos that I found. And, you forget to pluralize some nouns. You also used the wrong form of "they" in one part. Ex: “They again?” he hissed as eat a spoonful of rice. = "Them again?" he hissed as he ate a spoonful of rice. Ex: He was playing Rubik seriously and nobody brave to disturb him. = He was playing a Rubik's Cube seriously and nobody was brave enough to disturb him. Characterization: 10/10 Nice job. From the way you wrote the actions, I could tell how every character was like. Well, you made the police fiance seem very mad all the time, so he seemed like a grumpy person, I got that well, and he also had a soft side. You portrayed those traits well, and same with the other people. Writing Style: 10/10 Good! The way you wrote your story was fairly simple, and I understand every bit of it. And your language was good. You used academic language throughout every chapter. Overall Enjoyment: 3/5 It was fun to read, but I'm not one for gangs and thriller and stuff... But I like romance! :D I'm actually not one for stories that incorporate characters other than Taiwan stars. But that's just my own preference. Bonus: 4/5 For your poster which you created by yourself, and for writing romance. ♥ Ahaha... That's my favorite genre! And I just simply liked your story. Total: 75/100 Keep it up! (: (0 happiness)
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