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♥ She's All That [Review]
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Title: She's all that Author: cutterpillow Fanfic URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/SAT Reviewer: SaMaNtHa @ ver-sah-tyle Title: -3/5 The title was simple and it was a good choice for your story. It captures your readers attention. But it didn't match your storyline. Poster/Background: -9/10 I love the poster its really pretty! It also gives the readers a feel of what the story is going to be about! The poster is really pretty, the background is kind of plain but it made the font pop. So it was good! Forewords: -8/10 The forewords was really good! You added the background information, added the plot/teaser that captured your readers attention, and you also added an authors note. But wasn't it a little bit short? You need to add more to it. Like more information about your characters. You did tell us, the readers what each characters roles were but you didn't give us enough details. So just work on that then it would be great! Plot: -12/15 The plot was really good! It was different from other stories but some parts were cliche. But other than that it was really good. It was something different and it was also really enjoyable to read. Creativity/Originality: -13/15 Like I said in the plot it was a good story. I think that it was an original storyline. The creativity was also nice. You added enough conflicts to make the story interesting. Flow: -10/10 The flow was good! You did a great job lenghting the time line for the readers. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: -5/10 The spelling was really good! You didn't have much spelling mistakes. Your grammar needs work. You need to learn how to put past tense and also you put commas at the wrong time. Commas are only there when theres a pause in the sentence. Characterisation: -7/10 The characters were really well! But you didn't really write about their personalities much. You didn't give us enough details of what the characters were about. But it was still good. Writing Style: -4/10 You need to work on your past tense. Like in a lot of your sentences is not really accurate. For example, "As the wannabe hot stuff group walk away. I also started walking outside the building. I look up the color of the sky is pretty today. It falls in different layers of pink and orange. As dusk fell, I stepped off the middle of the way." This is how you should write it. "As the wannabes walkED away. I also started walking outside the building. I lookED up AT the skys color it WAS pretty today. It falls in different layers of pink and orange. As dusk fell, I stepped off the middle of the way." Its important to fix those so that the readers will understand it better. But other than that your writing style was neat but some points it was really confusing so I had to reread a lot of things to fully understand it. Overall Enjoyment: -4/5 I enjoyed it. It was a fun fic to read! But it was kind of hard to read it since I kept getting confused. Sub Total: -75/100 Bonus: -3/5 I hope you learn from this review! And try to become a better writer. I hope you don't get discourage but encouraged! Total: -78/100 (0 happiness)
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