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♥ Sad Movies [Review]
Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Author: Teriyaki18
Title: Sad Movies
Link: http://authspot.com/short-stories/sad-movies-a-oneshot/
Reviewer: Jaelliex3 @ VST {http://ver-sah-tyle.blogspot.com}
Note: Although I am friends with the author, our personal relationship as friends will not get in the way of me reviewing her story based on honesty. When I review, friends or not I'm honest even if it hurts their feelings. I take my job as a reviewer very seriously.

Title: 5/5
This title was good for the story. But I reckon if this story was on winglin I don't think it'll be the first thing that would come up in the search engine.

Poster: 10/10
I loved the simplicity of the poster. The gaze of the girl outside the window connects with me the most. It was making me wonder what she was staring at and after reading your story I kind of related the scene she witness and her staring out the window together. These simple things are something that can really affect the way readers view your story.

Forewords: 10/10
I'm taking these as your forewords;

[…Sa-a-a-d movies always make me cry…
He said he had to work so I went to the show alone
They turned down the lights and turned the projector on
And just as the news of the world started to begin
I saw my darlin' and my best friend walk in…]

I gave you a full mark for this because for me it was right on the spot, yet you kept me wanting to read more. I asked myself “What is that jerk doing there?” so this was really something that caught my eye and allowed me to keep reading.

Plot: 5/15
I've heard of stories with the same plot as this. The boyfriend cheats on the main chick to be with the bestfriend. Sort of reminds me of a movie I watched “My Bestfriends Girlfriend” (LOL Richard Gutierrez), but yes for me it wasn't so your own.


Creativity/Originality: 12/15
Although the plot was very common your creativity was put in good use. Like in the end instead of her confronting Bea, she ran home and lied to her mum. Instead of her telling Irene that she had been right about Keith all along was really nice. Mostly in the stories I've read with the same plot that's what happens, the girl tells someone else about her pain. But with yours you should the strong side of her even though she's already crying. Her closing lines were really good, it was suggesting that the sad movie was what she just witnessed and experience; the sad movie is her life.

Flow: 5/10
Everything happened so quick for me. I'm going to sound like a masochist but I wanted to feel more heartbreak. I wanted read more tears cried out, I mean with heartbreak like that a little lie to your mum is not going to cut it. Also each scene wasn't long enough for me, the scene where the main girl exchanges word with her partner wasn't long enough for me. I wanted to read more about their relationship altogether, not just the sad and hard part of it.

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
This section is really good. I had no problems with it, the only thing I realised it when you want to curse you put a “.” somewhere there. Like “D.amn”, I think it's either you use it or don't use it at all. I mean if you want to curse just curse its part of us. (Hehe)

Characterization: 10/10
Each character was all introduced well. Well done ^^

Writing Style: 10/10
If I didn't complain about your spelling, grammar and vocabulary it means I like your writing style. Your style of writing has its depth but yet again people are able to understand what you are trying to imply. I never got lost one bit in this story.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5
Told you I wanted more heartbreak. But the story was good so don't get me wrong.

Sub-Total: 70/100

Bonus: 5/5
I'm in love with the name Michael so I'm giving you a bonus for that.

Total: 75/105

Lower than you expected Unnie? If so, Miane. But I'm sure you have improved now, so if there's anymore one-shot you want me to review just request away. I'll be willing to take on any of your one-shots.


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