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♥ Pair of Hands [Review]
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Title: Pair of Hands Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/pairofhands/ Author: brightside Reviewer: DarkAngel @ VST {http://ver-sah-tyle.blogspot.com} Title: 5/5 -I see that you used the title in the story a couple of times before. It’s uncommon for people to do that, which is why it makes it so special. The title is unoriginal, and I have never seen another story title similar to this. Poster/Background: 10/10 -I love the texture and color that you used for this. The blend of color in the poster shows off and it’s high quality. It looks professional and you could easily read the text. All of the colors matches and makes the reader feel a little more relieved. If there’s a variety of colors bouncing around, it makes the eye sore and puts a little more stress. Forewords: 9/10 -The foreword is fine, but I think it’s too short. You included the plot and the characters/actors, but it seems a little too short. I guess you could have introduced the characters a little bit more. Plot: 13/15 -It’s a classic! I don’t see this kind of story around anymore. It’s probably because nowadays, they have technology and it makes the story more “younger” as you can call it. This story seems like the kind they wrote a long time ago. It doesn’t mention what most stories have today. I think that it’s pretty special. The plot is like those old movies. I feel like it had a lot of emotion. The only thing I think you should improve on is making the story less dull. It seems like it doesn’t have a lot of emotion in it. Creativity/Originality: 14/15 -I can tell you that I’ve never seen a story like this on Winglin before. It’s certainly creative, but a little original. You may not know the difference, but that’s what I think. Flow: 10/10 -The speed was okay. It wasn’t too fast or too slow. You added in detail, but I guess it was sometimes too much. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10 -At some times, your grammar was off. You didn’t use complete sentences in a couple of chapters. I didn’t spot any spelling errors. Your vocabulary was great. It included some words that I’d never seen before. I still suggest that you look over and revise it. Characterization: 8/10 -I can understand and see their persona, but I think that you should have included more of their thoughts and feelings. Without it, the story isn’t as interesting or exciting. Like I said before, it causes the story to become dull. Writing Style: 9/10 -I have only one problem with your writing style. The only thing I suggest is that you should write more complete sentences. Overall Enjoyment: 3/5 -It wasn’t high-tech as all of the other stories. I enjoy reading classic ones like this once in a while, but it gets boring after a while. Sub Total: 88/100 Bonus: 4/5 1. I bet you’ll become a great writer once you grow up. 2. It certainly isn’t like the other stories that I’ve read/reviewed. 3. I love the poster! 4. I can see that you took your time, even though your grammar was a little off. Total: 92/100 Keep up the great work! I just love your poster! Did you make it? If you did, I think you should become a graphic designer. (0 happiness)
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