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♥ Eternal Love Doesn't Exist [Review]
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Title: Eternal Love Doesn't Exist Author: Just A VIP Story Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/bblover4/ Reviewer: Jaelliex3 Title: 3/5 This title is a bit common. I have seen a couple of stories on winglin that have the same title. Poster/Background: 10/10 I love it good job. Forewords: 1/10 In a one-shot I suggest you should always put a forewords. A little brief thing about the story so everyone can look forward to it. This way people would actually read on and see what the whole one-shot is about. Plot: 5/15 For me this plot wasn't that good. It was the common, the girl doesn't believe in love yet she falls for a player and in the end of the day her past repeats itself and her heart gets broken once again. Creativity/Originality: 5/15 This wasn't that creative or original. It was sort of a mix of a lot of stories I have read. To improve make sure you add some twist into it. Flow: 4/10 The flow of this story was not that good. Everything happened so quick for me. Like it jumped time frame too much. Try extending each parts of the story so the flow improves too. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10 Not much on the spelling just little thing such as "expected" that was suppose to be "accepted". Try and make sure you extend your vocabulary by using sophisticated words. Don't settle for the common words that I read everywhere. Characterisation: 6/10 The twist I like was Jiyong. I thought because he found a person who got hurt before his ways would actually change because they went through the same thing. But in the end he was still the same him. A player and will always be a player. Writing Style: 5/10 This writing style is too common. Extend your vocabulary and you could write a sophisticated story or one-shots. Overall Enjoyment: 2/5 Everything happened so quick for me. So I didn't quiet enjoy it, I wanted so much more actions/sweet scenes happening between the main two characters. I wanted so much more from them both. Sub Total: 48/100 Bonus: 5/5 This 5 points foes out to my Baby GD. I love his player ways but at the same time I hate it. But I love GD so any story with him in it will have a 5points bonus from me. Total: 53/100 Sweetie don't get discourage, it's good practice. I'm not a PRO writer on one-shots so don't worry we are on the same boat. Just keep writing until you improve, practice makes perfect ^^. *Note: I am aware of the identity of this writer and I have to tell you all that I reviewed her story with honesty. I am not biased about this review so please don't bash! Thank you! (0 happiness)
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