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♥ Endless Love [Review]
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Author: Ishwarya Title: Endless Love URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Ishwarya0309/ Reviewer: SaMaNtHa @ VST {http://ver-sah-tyle.blogspot.com} Title: 3/5 The title connected with the storylines because all the one shots were connected with endless love. Even if their partners died they were still in love so basically all your one shots were based on endless love. It was very clever to title your one shot collection that but the title is still very simple and boring. Poster/Background: 9/10 The poster was really pretty, it included a title and the main cast. It was very pretty it connected well with your story, I also loved the blend of colors. The bg was pretty, plain but pretty. The background didn't make the font hard to read but why is the font purple? Shouldn't it be a light pink or something? But anyways the poster and bg was pretty! Forewords: 4/10 The foreword didn't change from last time so... Theres not much to say here because I already told you that you should add the plots to make the foreword more interesting. Like I said the foreword is the most important part of your story because its the hook of your story, it also captures reader attentions. So its very important to put a catchy prologue in the forewords. I'm not going to change the score since nothing changed... Plot: 13/15 The three one shots I read were nice! They were simple but very different. They captured my attention! Each one shot had its own twist and turns, and thats good! But the plots for the one shots were too simple you should of made it longer and wrote more about the plot, make your readers understand whats happening and why it was happening. Creativity/Originality: 14/15 The three plots were more creative than the last two. It had more information and it was more interesting. The originality was great! I can tell that the plots were your own thinking! Flow: 5/10 The flow once again was too fast. The one shots were short so everything seemed as if it was rushed. The beginning to the end was rushed. You didn't really tell us, your readers much about the one shots because they were too short and it was limited because of that. So do work on your flow make it more balanced! Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10 There were small spelling and grammar mistakes here and there, for an example, (I rolled my eyes. Great! She didn’t know me at all.) Didn't should be doesn't because didn't doesn't make sense and it should be past tenths which is doesn't. Just misplacing a word can effect the whole sentence, it makes your readers distracted to read and find a mistake like that. So you should reread and revise it will help you and your readers to understand better. Your vocabulary was basic. You used basic english and small words. I know it wouldn't make sense if you used big words and your readers didn't understand but its good to expand your vocabulary! Characterization: 2/10 I still didn't get your characters. Their personalities were simple and you didn't explain much about them. You need to make your characters pop and make it seem as if they were real and not just a character give them a weird habit or give them a very unique personalities. Writing Style: 7/10 In the beginning of Stupid Lover you didn't state who was talking or whose POV it was so it made me confused I thought that it was the girls POV since it was her one shot so when Junsu was getting ready to jump someone held him back then he was thinking and kept saying she, which made me confused because I was like 'She?' isn't the girl committing suicide? So I think you need to be more clear on who's POVs it is. But other than that one it was good. I liked how you wrote Changmin's one shot it was very nice. So all I'm trying to say is that your writing is confusing but good! Overall Enjoyment: 4/5 I kind of enjoyed it like I said it was too fast so the emotions weren't there. So if you work on the flow your stories will turn out better! Sub-Total: 69/100 Extras: 5/5 Thank you for requesting me to read your one shots! I had a good time reading them and also thank you for requesting at VST! Hwaiting!!!!!!! Total: 74/105 (0 happiness)
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