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♥ End of Dream [Review]
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Title: End of a Dream [MF Challenge] Author: BoBoLi0us URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/EndofAdream/ Status: Completed Reviewer: ctanonymous @ Ver-Sah-Tyle Title: 5/5 For a depressing story, a depressing and simple title would probably be the best, just keep it simple and straightforward to convey the hurt and depression. That's exactly what your title is, it's only four words and it's short, but I got a lot from it. It terrifically portrays the main theme in your story, and it matched the mood completely. I love it. <3 Poster/Background: 10/10 Beautiful. The colors, styles, and even fonts all captured my interest, and they support your story excellently. I love it so much. ^^ Forewords: 9/10 You did a very good job. You gave a brief glance at what was going on in the story, and it wasn't too detailed. But I thought it was too...simple. It didn't show as much as it should. Does that sound clear? Lol, but it was still very good. You give support to the theme in your forewords too, and it was ominous. Nice job. Plot: 11/15 The plot was good. But it was too predicatable. Boy meets girl, girl and boy fall in love, girl's heartbroken, girl's devastated. I just thought it was too typical and common. You could've added a little more twist to it, but it's not like you haven't already. Creativity/Originality: 10/15 I understand, there are a LOT of stories on Winglin out there, and it's really hard to create a story without repeating anything from others. Yes, I get it. But still, this wasn't the most original and creative one there was. However, you added some elements to it to make it different in a way. Flow: 8/10 You kept a good pace and flow in your story, though it could've been a bit better. There's always room for improvements, right? Well, I thought somethings just happened too quick and abruptly, like her leaving and such, but you did really good. Additionally, you could have used a bit more for transitioning between scenes. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10 I saw a few spelling and grammar mistakes, but they were very small and they don't interfere with any part of your story. Your vocabulary is decent, and you did a nice job. That's basically all I have to say. Characterization: 10/10 You did excellent in this category too. From how you write out the dialogue and the feelings and thoughts, I could easily interpret how the characters were like, and what their traits were...You did well. Writing Style: 9/10 I don't really have any problems with your writing style. It's not too complicated, but it is slightly confusing for me. The scene switch is too confusing...I couldn't really make clear what was happening. Overall Enjoyment: 5/5 I'm used to Taiwan fanfics and I'm not so familiar with Korean fanfics, but I still really enjoyed this one. It was short and simple (not too complicated and scattered, ugh) and readable and understandable, what more can I ask? Lol, on top of that, it was my favorite story type: hurt/comfort. Nice. Sub Total: 86/100 Bonus: 4/5 Because you helped me review my oneshot before from Symphonic Melody (remember Dedicated? xD) and you have the same name as me, LOL. Hey, Christina, I'm Christina. Nice meeting you. xD Total: 90/100 I think this is the highest score I've given out so far as a reviewer! :D Great job! I hope you write more work like this. Keep it up! ;] (0 happiness)
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