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♥ A Beautiful Mess [Review]
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Title: A Beautiful Mess Author: hello stranger URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/yze Reviewer: SaMaNtHa @ ver-sah-tyle Title: 4/5 The title was good. It connected with your storyline, it also gave your readers a clue of what the story was going to be about. If I saw in on winglin I wouldn't click on it. But it matched your story! Poster/Background: 7/10 The poster was pretty, it included a title, the characters and it also included the theme of the story! The poster was well done! The bg was really plain, there wasn't anything on it but small dots, sure it made the font easy to read but thats it. It could've at lease had the title or a picture in the background. So I'm just taking two points away because of the bg. Forewords: 8/10 The foreword was really well written! It caught my attention, it was good. Your prologue was nice it caught my attention and your readers attention, and thats good because the forewords is the most important thing, its the hook of your story! I'm taking some points away because the length and the lack of information. It would of been nice for you to add the background information and told the readers about the characters. I understand that not all authors likes to introduce their characters in the fic but it helps a lot. It tells your readers what and who they are in the fic. Plot: 7/15 The plot was really cliché, there's a lot of stories like yours. Its always about love triangles and love between friends. So what I'm trying to say it that the plot was common, predictable, and cliché there wasn't anything new to it. Creativity/Originality: 8/15 Like I said on the plot section the plot is very common so that effects the originality, but how ever the creativity was nice. You added great stuff in your fic that I never read before. You added conflicts which I like in a story, adding twist and turns in your fic helps the creativity and it helps keep your readers attention. So I'm giving you points for the creativity. Flow: 8/10 Most of the fic your flow was good, it was under control it wasn't too slow nor too fast. But in one or two chapters it was pretty fast. One thing happened in a chapter then the next something else happens which was too fast. But like I said before most of the time it was good, you lengthen your timeline very well! Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10 Everything was good except the vocab. There were no spelling or grammar mistakes, the only problem was your vocabulary. You used basic words but if you expanded your vocabulary and used bigger words it will help you improve on this section. Charaterisation: 7/10 The characters were rough. I didn't really understand Changmin, Junsu or Yoochun's characters. They aren't the main characters but their roles are still very important and I don't think I knew them well. The other three were good. You told and explained a lot about them three, as in Jaejoong, Sunmi, and Yunho but not the other three. Writing Style: 7/10 Your writing style was neat and understandable. You used a lot of dialogue though its not a bad thing but its also not a good thing. Using a lot of dialogue distracts you from writing real sentences which leads to less details. So less dialogue is better because when I was reading I was reading more dialogue and not enough sentences. Overall Enjoyment: 3/5 I didn't enjoy it much like I said it was a common storyline so it wasn't that good for me.Sub- Total: 67/100 Extras: 3/5 I hope you learn from this somehow! Total: 70/105 (0 happiness)
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