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We Got Married - Scandal Edition
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Author: ChineseMonkeyRaia Title: We Got Married - Scandal Edition Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/2467/we-got-married-scandal-edition-kevinwoo Reviewer: >akachannn Site: VST http://ver-sah-tyle.blogspot.com Title: 2/5 It wasn't very creative at all. Almost every WGM story has the title in it. Creative titles are likely to grab your readers' attention when looking for a story to read. For stories, a title should normally be seven words or less, just enough to catch your reader's interest. Giving your story a title without WGM's name in it should grab attention. I know most readers are into WGM stories these days and the title itself will tell the reader that it's WGM-based. But you shouldn't only name it after WGM since there's a twist to it. Perhaps making it a new TV show with the idea of WGM but with a different name would be more interesting. Poster/Background: 10/10 It's great! Bright, colorful, and very well-made. I LOVE the colors on this one! It really brings out the bright mood of the story! ^__^ And plus, the characters look great on this. (: Forewords: 4/10 Your forewords could've been a LOT better. If I were you, I'd descriibe the characters a lot more. Not only naming their strengths, but also their weaknesses and flaws. Not everyone is perfect, fiction or not. You should've described your plot a bit more. Your plot is supposed to reach out and grab your readers' attention and keep them wanting more. To do so, most people would insert a teaser/preview of their story. If you're not into doing previews, then ending your plot description with a cliffhanger should leave your reader wanting more. On top of that, this is the first thing you should include in your forewords: Title: Author: Rating: Warning(s): Disclaimer/Copyright: Credit: (Poster, background, trailer, etc.) Pairing(s): It doesn't have to be those, but it helps your reader know if they really want to read this story or not. A lot of people pay attention to the rating, actually. Some rated fics don't warn the readers if it's rated or not. Plot: 9/15 To be honest, I'm a sucker for WGM fics. But from an unbiased opinion, this is a very common plot. They get married, choose whether or not they want to stay together, go through simple troubles, and have tons of happy moments. But the fact that Yeonjin is a regular girl and not a celebrity gives your plot an intersting twist. But I think you should insert some antagonists in your story. Otherwise, everything and everyone will stay the perfect little princes(ses) they are. Common antagonists for a plot like this could be antis, fangirls, jealous celebrities, etc. Creativity/Originality: 8/15 There's so many WGM fics on the Internet. I've seen so many of them, regardless of what website they're posted on. Almost every WGM fic is the same. Meet your new spouse in surprise, lover's arguements, making up in a matter of minutes, caring wives, and overprotective husbands. Your story is not very different from other fics on the Internet so I think you still have a long way to go with this category. Most WGM stories have the whole "if you like your partner, you can stay together thing." To me, it's nothing new. Flow: 5/10 I can hardly tell if this is going too fast or slow. In the beginning, it was moving VERY slowly. Taking four chapters to do an introduction can make your reader lose interest quickly. I understand that you're writing fairly short chapters at a time, but the introduction should be quick and introduce the story in a way that you can quickly progress to the next chapter. But soon after your introduction, your story went by way too fast. Yeonjin and Kevin haven't done much together from what you've described and they're already in love? Don't you think that's quite unrealistic? In real situations, people take time and don't rush love. I think that you've rushed this story as soon as you finished the introduction. Don't take the story too quickly. Let your reader digest and leave your chapters in cliffhangers, which only lead to your readers wanting more. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 5/10 I don't recall very many spelling mistakes. However, I realized that you tend to put commas where it's unnecessary. You don't need commas all the time, okay? Throughout your entire story, I've notied more commas than anything. On top of that, I don't think your vocabulary was very impressive. You stuck to using simple, well-known words instead of sophisticated words. Although hard to understand at times, difficult words somehow make you seem like a better writer. Wider vocabulary can lead to a larger interest in your story. Characterization: 4/10 Okay honestly, your characters sounded way too perfect! With everyone thinking Yeonjin was such a cute, pretty, nice, etc. girl, does she even have any flaws?! Things like this make a character seem unrealistic and hard to relate to. As I've mentioned earlier, nobody is perfect, no matter how perfect they may seem on the outside. Don't only focus on their strong/good points. Remember that flaws and imperfections are just as important because they make us human. There really is no perfect person. Every single character was exactly the same: perfect. I can't identify a single flaw in any of your characters. If I were just reading your story without knowing who U-KISS was, I would've thought that everyone was just one person with the same personality. Writing Style: 5/10 You're writing style was too indifferent for me to judge. The thing that tended to bug me was the fact that you didn't put each character's speech in a new paragraph. e.g: "When will we ever have time to hang out?" asked Yeonjin. "I'm not sure we can with all of this attention," Kevin sighed. "We have to do something special if it kills us!" Yeonjin exclaimed. Overall Enjoyment: 4/5 I was pretty entertained. I'm a huge U-KISS fan so I enjoyed it even more! ^__^ As I've mentioned earlier, I also love WGM and WGM-based fanfics. Despite its flaws, it was a cute story overall. n__n~ Sub-Total: 57/100 Extras: 4/5 1- requesting from VST. 1- I love WGM <3. 1- I love U-KISS<33. 2- Your story was REALLY cute ^^ Total: 61/105 (0 happiness)
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