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Shadow of an Angel.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Author: czachareina Title: Shadow of an Angel. Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/3750/shadow-of-an-angel-hyunjoong-kimhyunjoong-romance-ss501-taecyeon Reviewer: EverlastingQ. Site: VST http://ver-sah-tyle.blogspot.com Title: 4/5 The title is really interesting, it's very unique and one of a kind. It somehow.. gives me this really strange feeling. I don't know how to describe it, but once I read it, it instantly gets me all hyped up. It's a great title, it's able to capture the eyes of readers. Poster/Background: 8/10 Your poster is lovely, it somehow shows tragicalness and strong emotional emotions, I think it's because of the colours you've used, blue and black. If you didn't know, the colour blue symbolizes peace and calmness. Black symbolizes power, mystery and death (which explains the angel in this story). I'm sorry for talking about all these things that are irrelevant to the story, but yeah. So in my opinion, I don't really like the poster. I hate how it's so dull and dark, there should be a light shade of some bright colour. I haven't started reading, and I'm really curious to how the story will go. I'm already expecting something rather sadistic. Forewords: 8/10 I love the forewords, so much! Although it was short, the words in your sentences were really strong. It gives me this really emotional feel, just like your poster, and I was able to really adapt to it quickly. It's great that you've listed all your chapters into it, with the link aswell. What I think ruined your forewords was all the spaces between each of the sections. You really didn't have to do separate them too far apart, it's pointless. Plot: 12/15 I'm not very fond of all these angels and devils fanfictions, so I wasn't really amused from the beginning. But as I read through, your story actually had a... better meaning to it. It was really interesting and I loved it. Creativity/Originality: 13/15 What I loved most was your chapters' titles. It's really amusing how some of the words in your forewards, adds up to the sub titles of your story's chapters. It's very creative. I also love how you provided some songs to go along with your chapters, it's very thoughtful. Flow: 10/10 Your story's flow was pretty well. It didn't go too fast nor too slow. There wasn't any confusing parts because of the flow, so it was well done. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 5/10 I'm going to mention a few mistakes I've spotted throughout the story. Some are very common, and easily noticed. If you re-read your chapters at least two-three times, you'll be able to find and correct them. In writing pieces, you do not use numbers, you spell them out. Here's some mistakes that you've made. "...bowed to him 90 degrees...etc." "The path & the distance was about 3 meters away." "She made 10 piercing step to the front of the door." Instead of 90, 3 and 10, it should have been ninety, three and ten. In the last example that I've stated, if it's more than one step, then the word 'step' should be plural (steps). "No good thing ever happens to her with any consequence. No good thing...!" What is this sentence suppose to mean? I think you've make a little mistake there. Instead of with, I think it should have been without. Am I right? Characterization: 9/10 I love the way you described the situations, it's very precise and detailed. When you describe the emotional feelings the characters feel, I can pretty much adapt to it. You did a pretty good job describing the characters' physical appearance. Oh and, why wasn't Heechul mentioned again throughout the story? Writing Style: 7/10 You state "-------'s POV" when it changes scenes. But if it is a character's point of view, then it should have been written in first person instead of third, it's the whole point for all these POVs. I really hate it every time I see the symbol '&', you're not meant to use that in stories, you spell it out instead. Also, I don't like it how every time when you start a dialogue, you don't capitalize the the first letter. I don't know whether you've forgotten to or whether it's just the way you write (but I think it's the latter), you seem to always forget to capitalize certain letters after you've finished a sentence with a full stop. When you don't need to capitalize the letters, you do so even if it isn't a proper noun. But well, other than the things I've mentioned, you're writing style is very neat and it was easy to read, and not at all confusing. They're very descriptive, understandable and I was able to picture the situations very clearly in my mind. Overall Enjoyment: 4/5 I'm glad I was requested to review this, I enjoyed it. I apologize for the late review, I've been quite busy and so forth. Anyway, thanks for requesting at Ver-sah-tyle. :3 Sub-Total: 80/100 Extras: 2/5 Total: 82/105 (0 happiness)
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