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Is Loving You This Hard?
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Author: Hikari_Angel Title: Is Loving You This Hard? Link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Hikari_Angel/ Reviewer: EverlastingQ. Site: VST http://ver-sah-tyle.blogspot.com Title: 4/5 Just by reading the title, I can instantly assume what the storyline will be like. Although the title is ONLY five words, it gives out quite a lot of information. I love titles like this, they can leave the readers clueless and start guessing about all these different plots. It's enough to be attracting readers' eyes, it's a great title. Poster/Background: 5/10 Okay, I'll talk about the poster first. It's beautiful and very creative. It somehow gives out this.. very warm feeling, and the rose on the bottom left hand corner just gives it a better feel. I love the quotes on the individual photos, it's just like the title, it keeps us curious. Though, I don't quite like your background. Yes, I see some similarities it has with the poster but for a background, this one is horrible. Maybe if the hearts and everything kinda fades and is a bit lighter, it'll be better. The poster gave a good feel, but not the background. The background wrecked the whole image, I hate it. But at least you can still read the words, I don't have to highlight anything. I guess that's one thing that's good about it. Forewords: 6/10 Your simple yet short synopsis is a great teaser. Although it's short, it gave a brief summary of how your storyline is going to be. But your short dialogues is really confusing, I guess it could be better if you added a few more. Because everything is bunched up together without anything separating it, it looked really messy and hard to know whether your summarizing, or characterizing. Plot: 13/15 Despite all the flaws you have, I loved the storyline. Even if I've read similar stories to yours, I still like it because it's the type of fanfics that I enjoy reading. It doesn't matter if it's typical and not unique, as long as it's entertaining and interesting, I guess only that matters. Creativity/Originality: 8/15 I can't say this story is original. I've read plenty different kind of fanfics with similar scenes/ situations/ storyline as yours. Though, it's quite creative how Carmina was able to meet almost all of the idols in the kpop industry, it's really exaggerated. Flow: 2/10 Okay.. it's just the first chapter and you're starting to talk about Kevin having feelings for Carmina. It's too fast, they only met for one day and he's liking her already? I don't really believe in love at first sights, and they barely even know each other! From Kevin having "feelings" to starting to exchange numbers, to meeting all the idols, to having all the U-KISS members realise Kevin's shyness. It's wayyyyyyyy to fast. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10 Surprisingly, I didn't spot much grammar mistakes, nor spelling errors. It's really great how all of your sentences make sense and everything. Only if you separate the dialogues and such (which I'll mention later), you're story will probably be great. Characterization: 10/10 In your forewards, you talked about the two main characters' (Carmina and Kevin) background, family, friends and some information about them. I love how you provided pictures of each/ most of the characters. We can start picturing their faces as they're mentioned throughout the story. This is something that most writers should do, if they're not good at describing physical appearances. Well done. Writing Style: 4/10 Honestly, I really hate your writing style. All your dialogues and sentences are all connected together into one paragraph, that's not how we write. Every time some character starts to say something, we immediately skip to the next line, you don't join them together on the same line. It's really hard to read like this. Luckily the background didn't make the sentences too hard to read, or else I would have smashed my laptop. But well, I love how every time you change to another character's perspective, you clearly write it down. Some writers don't do this, and it makes me really confused. Overall Enjoyment: 3/5 I enjoyed reading, it was really interesting. Thank you for requesting at Ver-sah-tyle! Sub-Total: 64/100 Extras: 2/5 Total: 66/105 (0 happiness)
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