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Trigger Game [Review]
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Author: Robin Title: Trigger Game Link: http://winglin.net/fanfic/robin1/ Reviewer: Juliada3 Site: VST http://ver-sah-tyle.blogspot.com Title: 4/5 Your title fit your story perfectly. It described it well, and was intriguing, drawing readers in. Poster/Background: 9/10 The color scheme of the poster and background fit really well, as it indicated dark and scary, like your story. Your font showed up perfectly on your background, and it was really easy to read. Forewords: 5/10 You gave a small synopsis, but you could have described the members more and elaborated a bit more on your synopsis. Plot: 13/15 Your plot was very exciting. It sounded a lot like a book I have read before. There is suspense, and you are scared, yet wanting to know what will happen next. Creativity/Originality: 12/15 This was pretty creative, yet a bit predictable in a way. I assumed there would be a point that Sungmin would die. Every time he was going to kill someone, I wanted someone to kill him. Yet they didn't, which was interesting. The beginning was creative, how you changed Sungmin's personality completely. At the end, I knew that eventually, Sungmin would be killed by Kyuhyun. If you had changed it or made them have a fight to the death, or something else, that would have been more exciting. Flow: 5/10 Your flow seemed too fast. I think that this would have been much scarier if you had slowed down and relished the gory details, increased the fear of the other members, and showed us Sungmin's emotions. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10 Your spelling was fine, and you had occasional lapses in grammar and punctuation, but other than that, you did fine. It was still legible. Characterization: 6/10 I felt like I didn't understand any of the characters at all. Your story had the potential to be great, but because you rushed, it falls short. If you had slowed the time between killings, and talked a little more about the characters and their personalities, describing them, then we would have felt more grief at their deaths, instead of just indifference. Writing Style: 8/10 I like your writing style. You use paragraph form, and leave space between every couple of sentences. Overall Enjoyment: 3/5 Sub-Total: 74/100 Extras: 5/5 Total: 79/105 (0 happiness)
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