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A Part of TVXQ [Review]
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Author:TyHart Title: A Part of TVXQ Link:http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/TyHart/ Reviewer: BangBangVIP Site: VST http://ver-sah-tyle.blogspot.com Title: 4/5 -It was explained in your forewords why you chose this title, so thanks for that. Poster/Background: 7/10 - I recommend you request a poster for your story[you can always request from ver-sah-tyle!], or you can make one yourself if you'd prefer. A poster should have the title, author and characters on it and maybe even a quote for fun. Forewords: 7/10 - With this being your first story, the forewords weren't bad. You gave a brief description of what the story would be about without giving away who she'd end up with. Plot: 12/15 -A girl becoming part of TVXQ? Sounds kind of interesting, but there's not much more I can add to that since you haven't finished the story yet. Creativity/Originality: 13/15 - I thought your details were good, and you've added your own twist on an idea that I've read before. I thought it was good though! Flow: 7/10 - Your flow was a little choppy since you had a quite a few grammar/spelling mistakes. Spelling and grammar mistakes can mess with the flow of your story, making the reader have to go back and double check to make sure they read what you put correctly. For the most though, it was nice. Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 5/10 -I did find a few mistakes, but they arent that major, common actually. For example: "...an actually professional singer?" and 'Drew drove me home and I finally Charlie still on her computer' : I know you meant actual and find but sometimes it can be confusing and make your readers have to reread if you don't double check your spelling and grammar which makes the flow kind of choppy. There were words missing from quite a few sentences as well as with the wrong usage of words like: no/know , have/has, I also noticed a lot of singular words were plural. again, just double check your work and you should be fine. Also, at the end of a few sentences that were suppose to be questions, you put a period instead. I took off 5 points because I found these mistakes in every chapter, quite often. Characterization: 8/10 - The characters seemed to move a little fast in the beginning, but after that, it was just right. Writing Style: 8/10 -Everyone has their own writing style, and yours has a nice flow to it. The only thing I would suggest, is when you write quotes, if the same person is talking, even after a break, don't skip a spaces, for example: instead of: “Ahh, ha! So this is the Lovely Ty, that SM has talked about.” Max Matsuura said as they all laugh. “So dear, just sign the contract and off you go. It’s going to be the same as the other members.” He said in Korean. Ty signed the paper and they left for the interview. try this: “Ahh, ha! So this is the Lovely Ty, that SM has talked about.” Max Matsuura said as they all laugh.“So dear, just sign the contract and off you go. It’s going to be the same as the other members.” He said in Korean. Ty signed the paper and they left for the interview. Overall Enjoyment: 5/5 -Not being a big fan of TVXQ, I rather enjoyed this. Sub-Total: 76/100 Extras: 4/5 - A point for the unexpected makeout session, another 2 points for the haunted house, and one more since I really did enjoy the story. Total:80 /105 (0 happiness)
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